Today I want to sit down and talk with you about how you can start transitioning before you even see a therapist or doctor for HRT. I personally had a two and a half year gap between coming out and starting HRT. I took this time to start developing who I wanted to be and pulled inspiration from other people. Here’s what I recommend for you:

Research Transgender

Knowing as much as possible about transitioning prior to going to see a doctor or therapist is very beneficial. It allows you to determine what questions you have before going in and will help you feel clear on what it is you want. At the very least, start to explore: what it means to be transgender and what options there are in transitioning.

Keep in mind, not every person has to go and have surgery or even take hormones to feel authentically themselves. Just because you identify as a woman, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go and get a boob job, sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), or facial feminization surgery (FFS). You don’t have to grow out your hair, date only men or only women or anyone at all. You are not obligated to do anything in your own transition, everyone has their own life to live and everyone is allowed to make their own decisions for their transition needs.

Research Even if You’ve Already Started

It’s good to know what to expect, find the pros and cons. I’m 11 months into HRT, almost a year, and it gets a little crazy. It is going to be a little difficult especially for the first couple of months depending on your side effects. When you’re experiencing the slow progression of changes, its sometimes hard to realize what the hormones are doing to your mind and body. You’d be surprised at how much both of these evolve simply by being on HRT. 

Practice Makes Perfect

I think it’s really important for you to practice whatever you think your problem areas are. Personally, I did not like how raspy and manly my voice sounded, so I decided to take voice lessons. I did voice lessons for about eight months. I feel like I could continue to do them, but they were just a little too pricey so I’ve cut training off for the time being. My voice coach was great with my lessons and overall very supportive of my transition. I would definitely recommend taking voice lessons to someone who doesn’t necessarily like how their voice sounds (specifically MTF, from my understanding FTM see’s extremely well results from HRT). I again suggest you do your own research and find someone specialized in male-to-female transition voice training. Having someone who understands the background of what it means to be transgender was beyond helpful. 

Hair. Everywhere.

I have been growing out my hair since my freshman year of high school. I had cut it right before starting freshman year of high school, now it’s been just about four years. Of course, I have gotten it trimmed, but others have hair that grows a lot faster than mine. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with that and instead was blessed with extremely dark and thick body hair. My main problem was I noticed a dark shadow would grow back like an hour after shaving in the morning. With a ton of hair growth in my sideburn and mustache areas, I decided to invest in laser hair removal.

Now if you go over to Groupon, there’s a bunch of deals on there and I’m telling you, the place I went to it was like one body part for 6 months for around $300 and I was like okay we can go get my entire face done and I jumped on that stuff. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Now I’m a year into my laser hair removal treatment for my face. Everything else I started like 8 months ago and I’m already having extreme improvement in loss of hair growth. I did just shave like yesterday, but before yesterday I had waited 4 and 1/2 weeks! Before laser, I was shaving every single day. I’d say I have to shave like a third of the amount that I used to. It helps if you are always on the go like me, you don’t have to spend an hour shaving every square inch of your body, especially when you know it will just come back soon. I’ve seen a substantial improvement to the point where I could even stop now like I’m happy with how it is right now. 

Tutorials

I have watched so many videos of people doing their makeup and hair before I came out as transgender. I am self-taught in makeup now. I’ve never had anyone, outside of in a video, show me how to do my makeup. Same with hair, no one taught me how to do my hair or how to grow my hair out or how to take care of it. Occasional I have had people help me here and there with a cut or color, but that is all.

Learning how to do things in the skill sets that you think are necessary for you to feel comfortable with yourself. Makeup, hair, and nails have all helped me feel extremely confident in myself, and finding the right tutorials for you can do the same.

Walking the Line

I am not particularly a fan of how a lot of guys walk, like feet pointing outward with a wide stance, much like I used to carry myself. I have spent a lot of time working on my walking. I practice my walk on a straight line, I literally pick a straight line (whether it be like a parking lot line, or a concrete line, like on a basketball court) and just walk on it, walk on it, walk on it, and then when you think you’ve got that walk down, keep practicing. Trust me, this took me a long time. To test your walking skill, start on a line, lookup directly in front of you, and walk down that line without looking down. Then when you’re halfway, look down and take note of where you are, but don’t move yourself back on the line if you’ve fallen off, look back up and continue. At the end of it, I want you to see if you can walk a straight line without looking down. 

A lot of people have commented that I look like a supermodel and that I have to look like I have a lot of confidence and I really think it’s dedicated to that walk, just a simple straight line with one step in front of the other. Practice it. It has definitely helped me feel and look a lot more confident.

The Most Important Thing: Pronouns

If you are ready to come out and tell people that you are transgender, don’t be scared to ask them to refer to you by the pronouns in which you prefer. I had a hard time coming to terms with wanting to be identified as she. I waited until after meeting with my therapist before asking everyone to call me she and I regret it because I feel like my life could have been so different if I had just taken the steps sooner. Whether it was just like to my family, or to my really close friends and my best friends, I could have been closer and grown more prior to meeting my medical professional. Before you walk in there if you go in with makeup, hair, nails, outfit, put together with your walk down, your talk down, your laser hair removal started, like the whole thing, trust me, it’s going to be hard for them to say no. 

My friend had gone to her therapist for three and a half months before she was approved to get hormones. I went twice. There’s a process for a reason, they want to make sure this is truly what you want and if you have been living as a female and identifying as she/her for a huge chunk of time before you go and meet a therapist or an endocrinologist, it makes them feel more confident and comfortable with helping you take the right path. Truly it makes them feel like, “oh, she is ready, she is prepared, she probably knows more about the subject than I do.” Be true to who you are and to the process of becoming the person you want to be, because if it makes you feel comfortable and happy that is all that’s important. If you’re happy with who you are and where you are in life, don’t change for anybody else. 

I want you guys to all know you are beautiful, regardless of what circumstances you may be in or what anyone else has to say about you. You are beautiful, you are important, and you are your own person. Make decisions for you and not for anyone else! If you found any of these tips have helped you, please let me know in the comments.