This is my six months hormones update for being on hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I will be answering some questions that were sent to me from you guys. Stay tuned for more updates on my medical, emotional, and physical journey. 

One question I have been getting asked a lot is about pronouns because a lot of you have been going back through my videos and noticing that in the first half of my channel, as in the first 10 videos, my family has referred to me as he. 

How did they evolve? Why is your brother calling you he on your video? I just wanted to explain it a little bit more, so in my journal, my first entry I discussed how I didn’t feel comfortable asking others to officially call me by she/her pronouns. I preferred “him” because I didn’t feel like I was worthy of changing yet. I really think that it was in my head. I just wasn’t female enough or girly enough. I felt it was too early to officially recognize myself as she. Even though I wear a bra, extensions, and a full face of makeup, daily. I was wearing hair extensions for a year before I finally asked someone to recognize me as she, which happened to be after I started seeing a gender therapist. 

After starting gender therapy, my journey toward transitioning moved along very quickly. After talking to that therapist 2 times I knew the time was now. I know I don’t see myself growing into a man. All I see in my future is me growing up, into womanhood, getting married, and being a mother. 

The next most asked question is all about how hormones affected my mind. Having been on hormones for 6 months I’m going to explain the progression starting with month 1.

1 Month

I was placed on my estrogen 3 or 4 weeks prior to getting my testosterone blocker. I was on estrogen patches, they were like stickers, this was all before they gave me my testosterone blocker. I was so tired, like all the time. I was sleeping 14 hours every single night and it still wasn’t enough sleep. I was so distracted from school, distracted from everything, it was horrible at first. It was like the testosterone and estrogen just kept fighting at each other, like a claw fight between the two. Overall the first month was physically draining and emotionally, I just was not feeling anything, so I was kind of moody and with good reason.

2 Months

My testosterone levels dropped quite a bit. The estrogen started to take over, my breasts started to develop more. It honestly left me shocked, at the end of two months I was quite amazed at the results I’d gotten, but mentally I was still a little crazy. I wasn’t super mean or anything, I just kind of isolated myself and really didn’t want to talk to anyone for a while.

3 Months

This had to have been the turning point; everything finally felt evened out. It was either this month or the next month that I went in to go get my levels checked. The test results came back to the doctor and he said everything looked great and he wanted to meet up with me and just see how I was doing. At the end of this month tons of things were changing for me –  I started to come to an end of high school, I was doing good at my job, I felt like life was starting to go where I wanted it to be. I was the happiest I’ve ever been. I have felt positive even when people around me are being negative or talking about me in a negative manner. Somehow, every time anything negative happened, I took the positive out of it. I was literally drawing all this positive energy towards myself. I felt great physically, my facial hair growth has toned down a lot, but I’m also doing laser hair removal, so not sure if I can really give credit to the hormones for that. But for my skin, I see it in my cheeks, they have gotten a little fuller and my acne has cleared up completely. I just feel happier and mentally sane. I think I am more welcoming and more appreciative of having the people I do in my life and making them feel special for being a part of my life. I feel so special to have family and loved ones being so close to me.

6 Months

Currently, I’ve been going through a lot of life changes; high school has officially ended, physically some has changed: some boob growth, my waist is smaller (might be diet, might be hormones), my hips have filled out a little bit more, my thighs have definitely gotten bigger, but it’s not substantial. It is all very minor changes, which is good cuz I was happy with how I looked before, I just wanted a little more upper growth if you know what I mean (in the boobies). I haven’t had anything crazy happen to me, no horror stories to share luckily. I’ve had a great six months start to my transition and I hope the next 6 months go as smoothly.

I can’t wait for my YouTube family to grow and to be able to share my story with even more people. Again, please share with me any questions that you have about my HRT experience!